Things of the Past
by sexion
Summary: Cloud comes across something he'd rather forget about... [Crackfic][Hints of CloTi, but nothing major][Maybe Clouffie]


Hehe, I couldn't resist. I've been replaying FFVII recently, so it kinda popped into my head… what? He never threw them away. –_shifty eyes_-

Crack-fics PWN. :D

**Summary: **_Cloud comes across something he'd rather forget about…_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy.

**Warnings: **Cloud-torture (;D), crack-humour, OOC-ness, lack of plot and so on. Oh yeah, and Sephi-bashing… ish. Iunno, just Yuffie-ish comments.

**Things of the Past**

"Hey, uh, Cloud?"

"What is it, Yuffie?"

"_Why_ do you have a _dress _in your pack?"

"…" He blushed and cringed, as she lifted out a dress and threw it at him, before carrying on searching through his bag.

"Yuffie, don't! Why are you going through there anyway?" Cloud cried, his face beet red, as she pulled out a small plastic card.

"A member ship card to the Honeybee in? Ooh, Cloud, _what would Tifa think_?" She winked at the poor blond, who just groaned.

"That's not mine!"

"Alright Cloud… If you say so…"

"Yes, I _do_ say so! …And don't you _dare_ say anything to Tifa about that!"

"But Cloud, she deserves to know!"

"Yuffie!"

"Oh, dear, _poor_ Tifa!" She sniffled theatrically.

"What's all this ruckus about?"

'_Hell no,_' Cloud thought in despair. He didn't need _everyone_ to know about this.

"Oh, Cid, look!" She dug deeper into Cloud's bag, and pulled out something; something that looked oddly like…

"Lingerie?" The pilot raised an eyebrow. "Yuffie, stop looking in Tifa's bag, it's rude."

"But it's Cloud's bag!"

Cid gaped for a second, before breaking into a grin, "Why didn't you say so? Cloud! Why didn't you tell us that you were a crossdresser?"

"I'm not!"

"I could have asked Shera to let you borrow some of her clothes!"

"I could have borrowed some from Tifa!"

"…"

Yuffie was practically crying from laughter at this point, and Cid wasn't doing much better; grinning like a madman.

"Shut up," Cloud wheezed, his eye twitching visibly.

"A Tiara too!" Placing it on her head, Yuffie began to dance around. "I'm a ballerina!"

"Shut up!" He groaned again, placing his fingers into his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Oh, gee, I love you too Cloud," The hyperactive ninja whined, and unplugged his ears, before placing the tiara back on it's rightful owner's head. "Now you can be a ballerina too. No need to get all pissy on me."

"I _don't_ _want_ to be a ballerina," Cloud sighed.

"Fine, a princess then."

Twitch.

"A queen?"

Twitch.

"Fairy?"

Twitch.

"Sephiroth?"

Twi-

"What?" Cloud cried, eyes wide.

"Well with hair like that, I wouldn't put it past him."

"Yuffie!"

"What?"

"I doubt that Sephiroth is a crossdresser," He sighed, rubbing his head.

"So you are then?"

"Y- no!" Cue the blush.

Yuffie gasped.

"No! Don't look at me like that!"

"Well why else do you have them, then?" Smirk.

"I had to help Tifa, okay? I didn't do it because I wanted to."

"Suuure Cloud." Giggle.

Just then, Tifa entered the room, and Cloud almost groaned in relief. _She _could help get them off his back.

"Tifa," he cried, in one last-ditch attempt to regain his pride as a man. "Tell them it's true! I am not a crossdresser!"

"Could have fooled me…" Yuffie muttered.

"Whatever," sighed Cid. "I have to get back to make sure that moron doesn't crash. Fuckin' dumbass."

"Language, Timothy!"Yelled the newly-arrived Tifa, rather happily.

"But Cid! I thought you were on my side!" The ninja pouted, and gave him a kicked-puppy look; one that would put even a puppy itself to shame.

"Wouldya rather die?"

"Well, uh, no?"

"'xactly. " He strode out the room, oblivious to the mutterings of "traitor" and "turncoat" behind him.

"Yuffie-"

"I still think he's a crossdresser!"

And with that, the young ninja flew forward, and through the door, only stopping to deliver a lecherous wink in Cloud's direction, who just so happened to choke in shock.

"What was that?" He demanded, eyes wide from shock.

All he got in response was a shocked gasp, and Tifa's cries of "_Cloud! How could you?_"

--

AN: It was calling to meeee, I tell you, calling to me! Those pesky plot bunnies were mauling my brains. ):

I hope you enjoyed the fic (presuming you haven't just skipped down here) and I would appreciate reviews! xD;; I need to know whether I should just stay the hell away from humour or carry on. I debated over whether-or-not to post this fic for a while. I finished it like, a week ago. -_cringe_-


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